Feel
by lovesickswallow
Summary: He was inept at showing emotion, he was ineloquent at the best of times. He had lost too many people in his life and he was unwilling to allow anyone to get under his skin. But she always managed to find a way in. She did not know how to love, but neither did he. So he took her hand and they fumbled through it together. (Levi x OC)
1. His Test

**Before I start this story, I thought I should point out that this will be vaguely AU, as I have not read the manga and do not remember all the details from the anime. **

**I also do not know what happens after the end of the anime, however for the purpose of this story I assume that Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Sasha and Connie become Levi's new squad. This assumption is most likely wrong but like I said, this will be vaguely AU. **

**Now that that's out of the way, please enjoy!**

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><p>"I'm adding a new member to your squad." Erwin spoke with authority, a certain tone in his voice that prevented anyone from opposing his command.<p>

"Like hell you are." Except, of course, for Levi. The pair walked through one of the long hallways in the current headquarters for the Survey Corps, heading in the direction of Erwin's office. Erwin let out a sigh at the expected response, but pushed on with his proposal.

"She graduated first in the 106th trainee squad-,"

"Absolutely not." Levi interrupted, and Erwin let out another noise of frustration.

"Her skills are almost unparalleled and she has an outstanding knowledge of-,"

"Erwin, I don't care if her _shit_ is the key to the extinction of titans. You're not putting her on my squad." Levi deadpanned, cutting his commander off again, and Erwin clenched his fists. He had expected an argument of some scale, but this was ridiculous.

"You're being unreasonable, Levi. At least let me get a full sentence out before you-,"

"I know what you're doing. Do you take me for a fool, Erwin?" Levi asked, and Erwin wondered if he had cut him off on purpose or not. He wouldn't put it passed the shorter man and his dry sense of humour.

"What am I doing?" The commander asking unknowingly, and Levi rolled his eyes.

"I know who you're talking about. She isn't just some recruit. It's _her,_ isn't it?" Erwin glanced sidelong at him and saw Levi wore his usual bored expression, no hint of emotion betrayed on his face.

"How did you know?" He asked in defeat, still glancing at Levi in curiosity. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen a flash of real emotion in the man and thought that perhaps, this would spark some hint of humanity in him.

"Nobody else could be that skilled so soon after entering the Survey Corps and, if they were, you wouldn't bother with my squad and immediately promote them to captain. Given her circumstances, it was obvious." Levi glanced out of a long window as they passed it, casually observing his squad as they trained in the courtyard below. He could see they were beginning to slack off, and decided he would give them laps when he was finished with Erwin. "Besides, I heard Hange talking about the other day."

Erwin frowned as they stopped outside the door to his office and, after a moment of thought, he opened the door. He gestured for Levi to enter but the shorter man stayed motionless outside the door. "We're not finished discussing this, Levi." Erwin told him and Levi gave him a hard glare.

"Why does it have to be my squad? We don't need a new member, the team I have now works well together." Levi continued defiantly, trying to argue his point from a logical perspective.

"Because you're the special operations squad, and she's a useful asset to your team. Besides, you know she can be easily integrated." Levi opened his mouth to argue his point further, probably with the use of a few choice words, when Erwin spoke again. "This isn't up for discussion, Levi. I've made my decision."

"You're jeopardising my ability to make just decisions by putting her on my squad. You're endangering my entire team." Levi still held that bored expression, but his voice rose in volume to express his growing frustration.

"I don't doubt your position as a squad leader. You commanded her once, I am certain that you can do it again. As your commander, I expect you to accept my decision." Levi didn't reply and Erwin knew that the conversation had been won. "She'll be arriving tonight. I trust you to be ready." Erwin stepped inside his office and closed the door behind him, though he could practically feel Levi's glare through the wood.

"Tch." Levi turned back in the direction of his squad and decided that yes, having them run laps was certainly a good idea. When his squad saw the cold glare in their captain's eye, they all shared a look of doom before they were forced to run laps around the giant castle. When Eren dared to question their captain's reasoning, Levi told them, "You can thank your new team member when she arrives. Now keep running. You can stop when I don't feel so pissed off."

As Levi watched his team run their second lap, with each lap being about 2 miles long, he began to feel his frustration subside. He called out as they passed him and one by one, they all collapsed in front of him. They all looked completely exhausted and Sasha was crying about how numb her feet were, but Levi didn't bother to listen. He dismissed them for the night and they disappeared almost instantaneously, not daring to stay in his presence longer than necessary when he was in such a mood.

Although he had been beginning to relax, his stiffness returned the moment he saw the figure of a lone rider approaching the castle. He subconsciously straightened his cravat, though did not bother to stand from his seat on the steps at the front of the castle. He watched carefully as she approached, light beginning to shine on her face and aid his vision and all too soon, she was in front of him.

She dismounted her horse without waiting for it to stop and halted in front of him, her hand raised over her heart in salute. Levi scanned her carefully, not failing to notice that she stared straight ahead and did not look at him. He could see her grey eyes were dull and her lips were turned downwards and thought that nothing had changed. He noticed her long brown hair braided behind her and thought, _she still hasn't cut her hair, idiot._

"Reina Evans reporting for duty, Sir." She spoke after an elongated moment of silence and Levi felt his eyes narrow. Her voice was too certain, too calm. He felt like she was mocking him, and he couldn't have been more annoyed.

He slowly stood to his feet and, the moment he was in front of her, her gaze dropped to the ground. She was avoiding looking at him. Levi slowly circled her, taking a moment to familiarise himself with her once more. She was slightly shorter than him, perhaps only by an inch, but was lean and incredibly fit. He stopped in front of her once again and waited, daring her too look at him, but she refused. His eye twitched in annoyance.

"Where the fuck do you get off?" He asked after almost a minute of silence, failing to realise his unprofessionalism. However, his sudden lash had the desired effect and her eyes darted up to meet his. Levi wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but having her look at him only made him angrier.

"…Sir?" She questioned quietly after a moment, unsure if the question was rhetorical or not. Knowing Levi it was, but she wasn't going to take any risks. He stared at her a moment longer, eyes narrowed in scrutiny, before he averted his gaze and sat back on the castle step once again.

"Laps. Start running." She made no move and he looked back at her in question. She regarded him with a knowing gaze and Levi scowled at her. "Now." She paused a second longer but then began running, and Levi let out a breath he didn't realised he had been holding.

Eren, Jean and Armin observed her from one of the castle windows.

"That must be our new member." Eren muttered, face still hot from running.

"I wonder why Captain Levi didn't tell us about her before." Armin said quietly. Eren scoffed.

"I don't care, we had to run laps because of her. I hope the captain makes her run twice as many laps as we did."

"How old do you think she is?" Jean asked, squinting his eyes as he tried to assess her through the darkness that was quickly enveloping the castle.

"Looks about our age, I think. Maybe older?" Armin answered thoughtfully, because it really was hard to tell in the dark. The three continued to watch in silence for a moment, before Armin spoke again. "I wonder what she did…"

"She must have really pissed Levi off to be running laps already." Jean offered, and they all nodded in agreement.

Reina was finishing her third lap when she felt every muscle in her body start aching. She glanced to the front of the castle and saw Levi was still there, so she pushed on and began her fourth lap around the castle. She was used to the pain of training hard and, if anything, she welcomed it. She was especially grateful for it at that moment, because if she didn't have the pain of her body to think about she would be forced to think about _him._

She had expected Levi to be hostile towards her upon their reunion, but _this_ was just immature. She hadn't so much as stepped foot inside the castle before she was being punished. And for what? She figured Levi was doing it just to spite her, to punish her for her actions ten years ago. It certainly was like him to hold a grudge.

Reina cleared her mind of all thoughts not associated with pain and forced her legs to keep moving forward. When she passed the castle for the fourth time, she saw Levi was not there anymore. She faltered for a second, wondered if she should keep running, but deep down she knew this was a test. Of course she had to keep running. He hadn't told her she could stop, yet. And so despite the objections of her body, she began her fifth lap around the castle.

As she passed one of the windows of the castle she heard a voice calling out and looked in their direction, though still did not stop.

"Hey, Captain Levi is back in his office. Why are you still running?" Reina saw a small girl with black hair, framed around her face. She seemed indifferent to the matter either way, and was perhaps trying to help only to pass the time. Reina looked away from her.

"He hasn't told me to stop." She muttered, and continued dragging herself forward. When she finally rounded the castle once more, she noticed several bodies sitting outside. She was disappointed to find none of them were Levi.

Mikasa had told the rest of the squad that the new girl was still running and, because a vast majority of them didn't believe anyone could be that stupid, they had gathered outside to see if it was true. So when they saw the brunette jog into view they were shocked, to say the least.

"Oi, new girl. Why are you still running?" Sasha called out. Reina didn't even bother to spare the group another glance because if she distracted herself, her body could give up on her. Besides, she was almost certain they were only there to mock her.

"She said it's because Captain Levi hasn't told her to stop." Mikasa mumbled.

"Huh?" Eren gawked. "Are you an idiot?" Still, she ignored them. They watched in dumbfounded silence as she disappeared around the side of the castle once again and, after exchanging looks, decided to stay out of curiosity.

Reina couldn't feel her body anymore. Her legs had gone numb somewhere between her fourth and fifth lap, but she didn't take notice of it. She was determined to do this. Something inside of her was furious that Levi would give her such a trivial challenge, as if he had expected her to give up. She was determined to prove him wrong.

When she began her seventh lap around the castle, she noticed the group out the front were still there. They watched her quietly as she passed by them again and when she was almost out of sight, one of them called out.

"How many laps have you done?" She considered not answering, but figured there was no harm in such a simple question.

"This is my seventh." She muttered, not entirely sure if they had even heard. However, a second later she heard gasps and someone exclaimed that 'she's about to beat the record!' Reina didn't particularly care about beating some silly record, but she thought perhaps if she accomplished that much, Levi would realise she wasn't giving up. With that in mind, she pushed forward.

Levi heard a knock on his office door and didn't glance up from his paperwork. A moment later the door opened and Erwin appeared. Levi sighed.

"Why is Reina running laps?" Levi's eye twitched for the second time that day, and he realised that something about her name bothered him immensely.

"She disrespected me." Levi told the commander curtly, still focused on his paperwork. He paused for a moment, then added, "Why? Did she come and complain about me already?" He wasn't surprised. Reina had never been particularly concerned with following Levi's orders, and he didn't see any reason for her to start being now.

"Actually, I heard she's about to break some sort of record." Erwin smirked, because he knew this would bother Levi and Erwin was always interested in watching Levi's reaction when things did not go to plan. He stopped writing and took a moment to process the words, before he looked up at Erwin expressionlessly. Levi studied the commander for a moment before he stood from his chair and headed back outside, hands clenched in fists in anger.

When he reached the front of the castle, he saw his entire squad seemingly lounging around to watch her. Levi waited a moment, stood behind them in the shadow and watched. When Reina dragged herself around to the front of the castle for the seventh time she could hear the group assembled there cheering lightly for her. She looked at them for a moment, half expecting to see Levi among them, but felt her heart sink when she saw he was still absent.

She let out a sigh and continued forward, and the cheers from her team members subsided.

"Wait, she's _still_ going?" Connie asked in a hushed voice, and they all exchanged confused looks.

"What's the point?" Jean asked, dumbfounded.

"Captain Levi left! That's practically the same as him telling you you're dismissed, doesn't she know that?" Sasha gushed with wide eyes. They continued to exchange mumbled whispers for another moment, before they were all jolted back to attention.

"Oi, brats. What do you all think you're doing?" They turned to see Levi standing behind them, his typically bored eyes looking at them. They scrambled to their feet with rushed apologies, Armin explaining that they were offering their new team member some support.

Levi looked at them for a moment longer before he walked through them, outside the front of the castle. He saw Reina was just disappearing around the side of the castle and for a moment, he considered letting her do another lap. But he decided against it because it was starting to rain and he didn't want his boots to get muddy while he waited for her.

"Evans." He called after her, and she immediately stopped running. She turned back around and her shoulders slumped when she saw Levi standing there. "Are you dense? You should have stopped running when I left." Reina did not make a move and Levi waited another moment before he let out a long sigh. "You're dismissed, Evans."

The moment the words left his lips, Reina collapsed on the ground below her. She felt her knees graze the hard dirt as she fell but she didn't mind at all, just thankful that she could finally rest her aching muscles. She had completed his challenge, and she hoped that would make some sort of difference in Levi's attitude towards her. Show him that she was serious about this, Reina hoped.

She took long, deep breaths as she lowered her head in exhaustion, her body beginning to sink further toward the ground. She was preparing to lie down, unbothered by the rain and subsequent mud beginning to form, but was halted when she saw a hand in front of her. She looked at it in confusion for a moment before raising her head, following the hand up as it attached to a muscular arm, up past a dampening jacket and over a well-defined jaw until she was looking at Levi.

His expression was as cold and emotionless as ever, but Reina smiled nonetheless. She let her hand fall into his and he pulled her to her feet. However, her feet objected to the notion of being used once again and her knees buckled as she began to crumple, until Levi shot his arm out to catch her. She fell into him and he supported her weight, reluctantly helping her walk back inside the castle.

His squad watched with wide eyes as he all but carried Reina towards her room, and Levi didn't bother to spare them a glance.

"Sir, the mud-," Armin began to say, thinking that perhaps the captain hadn't realised that he was dirtying his uniform.

"Why are you still here? Training begins at 7 am sharp. Go to sleep, you idiots." Levi deadpanned and the group immediately dispersed. Levi remained silent after that as he led Reina to her new quarters. He opened the door with his free hand and manoeuvred her to the bed, where he dropped her ungracefully.

He turned to leave but stopped at the door, glancing back to see her pulling a blanket over herself, not even bothering to remove her boots. "Like I said to the others – training begins at 7 am sharp." He turned to leave, faltering only slightly as he heard her voice.

"Yes, Captain Levi."

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><p><strong>an**

**I know this chapter might be a little slow and what not, but please let me know what you think! I'll go into detail about Levi and Reina's past as the story progresses, but I'll explain a lot of it in the next chapter (if I do decide to continue this). **

**This is basically the tester chapter, so if no one reviews or shows interest then this is all that there will ever be of this story! **

**So basically, please let me know if this interests you! Thank you, I really appreciate it! **


	2. Dislike

Year 840

Reina stood at attention; her fist held firmly in front of her heart and her back so straight it was aching. She could feel herself tremble lightly as her captain scrutinised her, circled her like she was new meat to prey on. Finally, he came to a halt in front of her and she looked him firmly in the eye, denying her nerves.

"Evans." He droned, and Reina raised her head slightly in feigned confidence.

"Sir!"

"You understand that I especially chose you to be a part of my squad. I expect that you will not disappoint me, as failure will not be tolerated."

"Yes, Captain Levi!" Reina answered quickly, her ego swelling a little at the vague compliment. She had been preparing for another ordinary day of training when her previous captain had found her and begrudgingly told her she was to report to Captain Levi immediately. She figured it was probably a nuisance for him to have lost one of his members, but Reina was elated.

Levi didn't like her. He didn't like the way she stood, or the way she spoke. He stared at her for another moment, trying to unnerve her, but she held her ground. He didn't like the fact that her eyes held the same dullness as his, and he didn't like the fact that her hair was long. Long hair was impractical in their field of work, and it made him think that perhaps she did not take this as seriously as he had thought.

Nevertheless, she was a skilled soldier and Levi had been watching her for a while. His decision had been made when he watched her sacrificing her life to save a fallen comrade, not an ounce of hesitance to be seen. He admired that, thought he needed someone like that on his squad. Levi liked to think he was a relatively good judge of character, and he hoped that he had not been wrong about her.

"Dismissed, Evans." He stated after a long moment and Reina saluted quickly before disappearing from his sight. She walked towards the dining hall where everyone was eating breakfast and scanned the faces, searching for her new team members. She spotted them in the far corner of the hall and, reluctantly, she approached them. She had been reprimanded by her previous captain for being unsociable with the other troops, and had been told that she needed to form bonds with people in order to succeed on the battlefield.

Reina disagreed with this theory but was not the type of person to defy orders. She didn't think it made a difference whether or not she knew her fellow soldier's names. When it came down to it, they were all human beings and, if in danger, she would not hesitate to save them. She didn't think her personal preferences influenced her, and she certainly hoped that others did not prioritise human life in that way.

"Excuse me, is this Captain Levi's squad?" Reina questioned lightly when she reached the table, standing stiffly at the table's head. Four sets of eyes turned to face her and, after a moment, the woman at the table smiled.

"You must be our new member! It's so nice to have another girl on the squad." Reina took this as an invitation to sit down, so she did so at the end of the table. "My name is Petra!" The woman, Petra, continued to speak. Reina was not listening. She had made the effort to introduce herself, somewhat, to her new squad and that was as far as she was willing to go. She had never partook in small talk and, quite frankly, hoped she never would. It seemed like a useless waste of time, time that could be spent training or researching – anything that would better her as a soldier.

Petra told her the names of each of the men at the table while Reina sat quietly, polite enough to feign interest. When she saw another head approaching the table she sat up a little straighter, the previous conversation forgotten.

"Evans. Follow me." Reina stood immediately and began to make her way towards the captain, when a burst of laughter from the table made her falter. She looked back to find one of the men, Gunther, supressing laughter. "Something funny?" Levi asked, although it sounded more like a statement when he said it.

Gunther shook his head 'no' but then, a moment later, he said, "Sorry, Captain. It's just… She's even shorter than you are!" Reina faltered, slightly because she had never been insulted and did not know how to respond, and slightly because she had never heard someone speak to a commanding officer in such a casual matter. Levi, it seemed, did not appreciate it.

"Well I hope that little joke was worth it. Laps. Now. Don't stop until I say you can." His face fell in utter despair. "That goes for all of you." Levi added, and the entire table groaned and complained at Gunther. Reina stood motionless, watching uncertainly, until Levi called her name again and she realised he was leaving.

She jogged to catch up and, once she had, she walked two steps behind him. They walked in silence down long corridors, although it didn't bother Reina. She preferred silence to small talk any day.

"If you don't stand up for yourself, you'll never get any respect." Levi's voice made her jump and she furrowed her eyebrows at his words. She didn't respond because she didn't know how to, so the conversation died as quickly as it had begun.

Levi stopped outside the door of his office, unlocked it, and walked inside. Assuming she was expected to follow, Reina entered the office and closed the door behind her. She took the seat in front of Levi's desk as he lowered himself into his chair behind it, and Reina could hardly see him over the large piles of paperwork stacked high.

"I took the liberty to look through your file." Levi stated after a moment, and Reina couldn't help but be curious. She wondered what kinds of things were hidden inside. "You have great potential but you're holding yourself back." He sat back in his chair slightly, making himself more comfortable, and crossed his arms. "Why did you become a soldier?"

"To save people, Sir." Reina answered immediately, no doubt in her answer. Levi narrowed his eyes.

"Even if it came at the cost of your own life?"

"Of course, Sir." Again, an immediate answer. Levi half suspected she had been questioned on this before, and the fact that no one had reprimanded her for her response annoyed him.

"Why are their lives any more important than yours?" He asked, and this time she did not answer immediately. She faltered slightly, and Levi knew he had got her. "They're not, Evans."

"I don't understand, Sir." Reina stated after a short pause.

"I admire your bravery, but I will not allow you to willingly sacrifice yourself now that you're a part of my squad." Reina stayed quiet for another long moment, before Levi saw a flash of emotion in her eyes.

"I just want to be useful, Sir." She muttered quietly.

"You're more useful to me alive than you are dead, Evans." Levi told her bluntly, and Reina looked at him in confusion. "Your willingness to self-sacrifice is holding you back and I find it unacceptable and quite frankly, disgusting. You seem to value human life over everything else but have apparently forgotten that that includes _your_ life."

Reina was speechless. She never thought she would have been getting reprimanded for saving people, but she had no grounds to argue. They sat in silence for another moment before Levi let out a sigh and Reina looked up at him.

"That's all, Evans. Go run laps with the others." Reina nodded and stood from her chair, but paused when she reached the door. She turned back to see Levi had already immersed himself in paperwork and for a moment considered leaving wordlessly.

Then, she said, "Thank you, Captain Levi." And Levi looked up at her with his usual bored expression. He acknowledged her for a moment before directing his attention back to his paperwork, and Reina left without another word.

She only made it halfway to the training field when she felt a hand grip her arm and she turned around defensively, waiting to attack. She relaxed considerably when she saw a familiar boy standing in front of her.

"Luke, what's wrong?" She asked quickly, because it was uncommon of her brother to actively seek her out.

"Nothing, relax. I heard you got promoted to the Special Operations Squad?" Reina let out a sigh of relief but maintained her stiff posture.

"I did." Luke, her brother, broke out into a large grin and punched her playfully on the arm.

"Why didn't you tell me? That's amazing!" Reina smiled softly, but shook off the compliment. As strong as she liked to think she was, Reina knew that a large portion of her strength came from her brother. Without him, Reina suspected she might never have made it through training.

Reina was older by a year and, although she frequently treated him like he was fragile and needed protecting, he extended the same treatment to her. Both siblings were very protective of one another and, when they were together, it was safe to say that people were intimidated by them. Luke shared his sister's stoic demeanour and although they were both physically pleasing, no one dared speak to them without warrant. Their comrades had learnt this quickly during their time training, and had been repeatedly humiliated when the siblings rejected any attempt at human interaction.

Individually, they both had overwhelming strength but together, they were practically unstoppable. In fact, Reina suspected the only reason her brother had not received the same promotion as she had was their impulsive behaviour together. At first, they had been placed in the same squad. However this was quickly realised as a mistake during their first mission when the siblings had disappeared from the formation, only to be found slaughtering titans further back.

"I heard Captain Levi is rather terrifying." Luke mused and Reina shrugged. She had heard the same thing and although her legs had been shaking when she had met him, he did not seem like the cruel man he was perceived to be.

"I don't know…" Reina muttered, wanting to defend her captain. Luke looked at her questioningly because he had never known his sister to keep her opinions to herself around him, and the thought that she was hiding something made him upset.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Reina shrugged, because she really didn't know. Before the issue could be pressed any further, they were interrupted by a voice Reina was quickly becoming accustomed to.

"Didn't I tell you to run laps?" She shot up straight and turned to face Levi, who was standing a few feet away from her.

"I apologise, Sir." Reina told him immediately, then made to leave. She took a moment to squeeze her brother's hand lightly, because it had been a long time since she had last spoken to him and she missed him more than she had realised. Levi saw the tender moment and narrowed his eyes, displeased with the idea that she had defied his orders for something so trivial.

"I hope you appreciated the time with your lover, because you're going to run an extra ten laps." He told her bluntly and, although Reina was never one to argue with authority, she couldn't let such a horrible misconception take place.

"Forgive me sir, but this is my brother." Levi's stare shot to the boy, who looked back at him with wide eyes and a clumsy salute. Levi narrowed his eyes and stepped closer to Reina, who held her ground.

"Are you defying orders, Evans?" Levi asked her lowly, and Reina shivered at the tone of his voice.

"No, Captain Levi. I just thought you should know." Levi was pissed off. He had felt a sense of _relief_ at Reina's explanation, as though he had been bothered by her romantic involvement on an unprofessional level, and that pissed him off. And because he was pissed off, he wanted to punish her.

He had read her file, so he knew that she enjoyed anything physical, whether it was hand-to-hand combat training, 3DMG training, or simply running laps. Notes from her previous captain had even gone so far as to say she thrived on it, so Levi thought he would punish her a different way.

"Come with me." He told her after a moment, and she looked at him in confusion. She wanted to ask if she still had to run laps but figured he was not in the mood to answer questions, so she followed him quietly. He led her back in the direction of his office but instead of leading her inside, he knocked on the door three doors to the left. A moment later, a woman with brown hair and glasses who Reina identified to be Captain Hange appeared.

"Levi! To what do I owe the pleasure?" She asked with a grin, and Levi's scowl worsened. Hange looked passed Levi to see Reina standing behind him, and she leaned forward to examine the girl. "Who's this?"

"Reina Evans, 98th Trainee Squad." Reina saluted, although she was still unsure why she was there. She had, of course, heard about Captain Hange and her extensive research on the titans. She admired her for that, because Reina had tried her best to study the giant creatures in hopes to learn more about them – about how to weaken and kill them, but one could only learn so much from textbooks. Hange was different, having gained primary research on the titans through her years of studying them. Reina certainly admired her in that sense.

"I see your office is a mess, as usual." Levi told her, his eyes scanning the space behind her. Reina also looked over Hange's shoulder at the office in curiosity, and took note that it was significantly less organised than Levi's. "Take this one for a while." Levi spoke again, taking a hold of Reina's arm and pushing her forward towards Hange.

"Sir?" Reina questioned in confusion, and Levi reluctantly looked at her.

"What?"

"I thought I was supposed to be running laps." Levi narrowed his eyes but let go of her arm, taking a step back away from Hange's office.

"You'd enjoy that too much. This is your punishment, instead." He told her bluntly, before turning and walking away. Reina continued to stare at his back as he disappeared into the distance, until Hange grabbed a hold of her and pulled the girl into her office.

"So you're the new member of Squad Levi, are you?" Hange asked with a curious smile, sitting back at her desk and beginning to write notes. Reina paused for a moment, unsure, but then decided that Levi had left her there to clean Hange's office so it would be best if she began right away. She started picking books off the ground and placing them into Hange's large bookshelf in an organised manner.

As it turned out, spending a few hours with Hange had been highly beneficial to Reina. Most people groaned in complaint when Hange started talking about titans, but Reina was fascinated. She wanted as much information on them as she could get, and this was the best opportunity she would receive to learn about them.

When Levi returned that night, he found Reina nowhere in sight.

"Where's Evans?" He asked, and Hange looked up at him in delight.

"She was absolutely brilliant! Will you let me borrow her again sometime, Levi? She cleaned my entire office _and_ she asked me about titans!" Levi narrowed his eyes, but looked around the office and saw that it was considerably cleaner. She had even organised the mess of books Hange owned, Levi saw.

"I don't like her." He stated matter-of-factly, and Hange frowned.

"She reminds me of you, a little. Although her icy exterior is much easier to breach." Levi scowled at her, then turned and left. He was angry that Reina had cleaned the office to perfection and, if anything, had seemed to enjoy it. He decided he would need to think of another way to punish her, and stalked back to his office with cruel ideas floating around inside his head.

He had only just sat down at his desk when there was a knock at his door. He didn't respond and hoped whoever it was would go away, but a moment later the door opened and he saw Reina standing there. She was holding a tray with a cup of tea and a bread roll on it.

"Explain yourself." Levi sighed, because he was quickly growing tired of this girl.

"I came to apologise for my actions today, Captain Levi." Reina told him, still standing stiffly in the doorway. He eyed her a moment longer before speaking again.

"What are you holding?" He finally asked.

"Tea and bread for you, Sir." Levi grit his teeth because he didn't want her to do something like this. He figured Petra must have spoken to her, because there was no way she could have just _guessed_ how much he enjoyed tea. He motioned her forward and she walked up to his desk, placing the tray down. She saluted quickly before turning away and walking out of the office, closing his door behind her.

Levi stared at the steam floating from the top of the tea for a moment with a scowl before he picked it up, bringing it to his mouth and taking a sip. She had infused it perfectly and had allowed the hot water to cool to an ideal temperature and he thought it might have been the best-made tea he had ever tasted.

No, Levi decided – he definitely did not like her.

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><p><strong>an**

**I just wanted to say a massive thank you to the three people who left reviews for the first chapter, and to the people who followed and favourited this story! I certainly wasn't expecting such positive feedback so quickly but I appreciate it so much, it's amazing! **

**Please continue to show your support from this story, and I will update again soon! Thank you! xx**


	3. Breaking Her

Present Day

Reina did not want to open her eyes. Every muscle in her body ached when she moved and the thought of pulling herself out of bed was terrifying. Her eyelids slid closed and, clouded in darkness, she immediately thought of Levi. She wondered if he had dreamt of her because she had certainly dreamt of him, but Reina knew he was not that type of person and she decided it was best not to indulge herself with those types of thoughts.

She wondered if Levi would push her harder today, knowing full well that every part of her was in pain from her extensive running. Then again, Levi knew how she enjoyed pushing her body and she figured that if he had really been that hostile towards her, he would have forced her into some other sort of punishment. With this in mind, Reina decided that the thought of Levi having to come to her room and wake her up was more terrifying than anything, so she begrudgingly pulled herself out of bed.

After the longest shower she could allow time for, Reina made her way towards the dining hall of the castle in search of coffee. She had never begun a morning without coffee and she dreaded to think of the day that she would. She saw her new squad members sitting together at a table, laughing amongst themselves. She hurried past by means of not being seen, and quickly made herself a cup of black coffee.

Reina began searching for a vacant table but was quickly interrupted by a firm tug on her arm. She cringed at the thought that it was Levi, because she wasn't sure if she was quite ready to face him again, but knew that if it were Levi, the grip would be much tighter. Her suspicions were confirmed when a loud, female voice rung in her ears.

"My god, Reina!" Reina turned around and saw Hange standing in front of her, a plate stacked high with food in one hand and a steaming mug in the other. A small smile graced her face immediately, glad to be reunited with the insane woman.

"Hange, it's been too long." Reina told her, and Hange looked her up and down carefully. Then, a frown settled over her face.

"I swear… You've barely aged a day since I last saw you! And that was… what? Nine years ago?" Hange shook her head a little in disbelief and raised the mug to her lips, paused, then quickly lowered it again.

"It was ten years, actually. I left ten years ago."

"Well either way, you look as youthful as ever! You and Levi must have some secret that you're not sharing with me…" Reina faltered slightly at the mention of Levi and Hange noticed it, but thought it best to ignore. She had witnessed two of her dearest friends falling apart ten years ago and, now that Reina had returned, she could see the same scars beginning to open once again. She didn't want to be too close to the wreckage, this time.

"Have you eaten yet?" She asked Reina, and the small girl shook her head. Without another word Hange took her arm and pulled her to a table and Reina sat down beside the eccentric woman quietly. She was thankful that Hange had chosen an empty table and she wouldn't complain, even if it meant she had to wait while the woman ate the mass of food she had collected.

The pair sat in silence, though it wasn't uncomfortable. It was enough to simply enjoy the company of an old friend, and no words were necessary. Reina sipped quietly on her coffee but quickly, she found her cup was empty. She glanced around the dining hall and saw it was beginning to thin out, with most troops beginning their training for the day. She saw her squad still sitting together at a table, so she didn't think she needed to leave just yet.

Absentmindedly, Reina reached for the other mug sitting on the table and pulled it towards her. She wondered why Hange had even bothered pouring it for herself, if she wasn't going to drink it. She was delighted to smell the bitter scent of coffee and quickly took a gulp, unbothered by the cooling temperature of the liquid. She raised the mug for another sip when someone spoke from behind her.

"Are you drinking my coffee, Evans?" She paused immediately, eyebrows crinkling in confusion for a moment before she turned around to see Levi standing behind her looking less impressed than usual, if that was even possible.

"Your coffee?" Reina questioned hesitantly, and Hange gasped from across the table.

"Oh! I didn't even see you pick it up!" Hange gushed, and Reina felt like she had been stabbed in the back somehow. She looked questioningly at Hange, who continued, "Yes, that was for Levi… I get him coffee every morning."

Reina let out a sigh and began to stand up, the mug of lukewarm coffee clutched in her hands, intending to make him a new cup.

"Where are you going with my coffee?" Levi asked, looking slightly exasperated as he pulled out the chair next to Reina's. She looked down at him in confusion and he rolled his eyes. "Sit down, Evans."

Reina was still unsure, but hesitantly reclaimed her seat. She kept her eyes on Levi curiously, who sat patiently for a moment before letting out a frustrated sigh. Then, he reached towards her and took the mug from her hands, and they both pretended the feeling of his skin on hers did not elicit a whirlwind of painful memories.

He grabbed the mug from her and took a gulp, staring straight ahead as Reina continued to look at him. Levi could feel his resolve crumbling with each second her eyes stayed on his face, and his eye twitched in annoyance. Finally, Reina looked away, and instead focused on her hands in her lap.

"I thought you didn't like coffee." She mumbled after a moment, not expecting an answer so much as just wanting to rid the horrible tension suddenly in the atmosphere.

Levi paused, and then said, "I took a liking to it."

Hange sat quietly, opposite the pair, her eyes darting between them and her food. She had always been fascinated by their interactions and this time was no different. She thought it might have been, given the time they'd spent apart, but anyone could sense the connection they still had. Levi turned suddenly and looked at Reina, who froze when she felt his eyes on her.

"Have you eaten anything this morning?" He asked of her, and Reina shook her head after a moment. Levi sighed, because he knew before he had asked the question that she hadn't. She had never liked eating breakfast, though he couldn't understand why. A soldier needed as much energy as they could get, he had told her. She had simply said that it made her feel heavy, and more susceptible to a titan's mouth. He hadn't argued.

"Idiot." Levi told her simply, grabbing a roll off of Hange's plate and placing it forcibly in front of Reina. He wouldn't say it, but Levi knew that she needed to regain her strength after pushing herself so far the night before. Especially given the training he had in store for her today.

Reina stared at the roll for a moment before she reluctantly picked it up, breaking off a small portion and shoving it in her mouth. Food just didn't taste right in the morning, she thought. Levi relaxed his posture a little when she started eating, and took another sip from his coffee in satisfaction.

Across the room, Levi's squad watched in confusion as their new team member ate breakfast at the captain's table.

"Why aren't they telling her to leave?" Sasha asked in astonishment.

"Screw that – why would she even sit there in the first place?" Eren demanded, frustrated at the new girl's special treatment. Why was she any better than the rest of them, he thought?

"I get the feeling we don't have the full story about her." Mikasa muttered, and they all nodded their heads in agreement. They decided that they would find out what Reina Evans was hiding from them, they just needed to figure out _how_.

* * *

><p>At training, Levi worked them harder than usual. They had run five laps around the castle, practiced their hand-to-hand combat for two hours and worked on their 3DMG manoeuvres for almost four hours. When it started to rain, they all expected to be dismissed for the day but instead, Levi told them to start doing push-ups.<p>

It had rained rather incessantly for the past week and usually after a certain point, all the captains would agree that enough was enough. Today, however, Levi was in the mood for torture. At least, that was what his squad assumed. And Levi would let them assume that, because it was better than letting them know that he was trying to break Reina – push her to the point where her body shut down and she couldn't do anything else but fall to her knees and beg him to stop. He wanted control over her.

Reina's arms shook as she lowered herself for another push-up and, without letting herself stop to think about the ache in her arms, she pushed herself up once again. Each time she lowered herself, the front of her uniform fell into the mud on the ground and slowly, she had become saturated. She could hardly see from the rain in her eyes and her hair was falling out from her braids and hanging in her face, but she couldn't let herself stop.

"Captain Levi, please!" Jean begged, and the rest of the squad groaned in agreement. Levi stood in front of them, eyes narrowed and focused solely on Reina. He leaned forward in anticipation as her arms shook slightly while she tried to raise herself up and a second later, she collapsed on the muddy ground.

"Dismissed." Levi told them the moment she fell, and they all disappeared immediately, not wanting to stick around for him to change his mind. Reina lay in the mud for a moment longer before beginning to push herself to her feet, only to be shoved back down by a boot on her back.

"Not you, Evans. Keep going." Reina breathed deeply, looking at the rain splashing on the ground beside her as she tried to calm her anger. She had a reason millions to argue with him, to tell him he was being ridiculous and immature and he had no reason to make her keep going, but she didn't. Instead, she pushed herself back into a push-up position and lowered herself down.

She saw Levi's boots moving around her and before she could begin pushing back up again, she felt his boot on her back again. This time it was in the middle, between her shoulder blades, and he was pushing down to make it harder for her. She paused for another moment and inhaled deeply, then pushed herself back up and ignored the extra weight.

She struggled against him for as long as she could but finally, she couldn't take it. Her arms shook uncontrollably and she collapsed down onto the muddy ground again, but this time Levi did not force her to continue. He simply looked down at her in silence for a moment, engraining the image in his mind. Then, he muttered 'dismissed' and turned away.

She watched as his boots moved further into the distance before they disappeared inside the castle, and only after she knew he had gone did Reina pull herself to her feet. She dragged herself back into the castle, hating the fact that she was subconsciously trying not to drip mud on the floor because she knew how much Levi hated dirt. She went immediately to the bathroom and stripped off her ruined clothes, stepping into the shower and trying desperately not to cry. She would not let him win.

* * *

><p>Levi was sat in his office with a frown on his face, a half written report in front of him that he somehow could not finish. Every time he moved to write, he would wonder if Reina was still lying out in the rain or if she had gotten up. He was worried because he knew that last night, she would not have moved on her own. Logically, he knew he could simply look out the window and check, but he wouldn't allow himself the pleasure.<p>

He had wanted to push her, to break her, but his victory did not taste as sweet as he had hoped. Instead, he simply felt like an irresponsible captain, and that bothered him. Levi was perfectly content with everything his subordinates thought of him – because it was all fact – but he would not allow anyone to think of him as a shitty leader.

He was disrupted from his thoughts by a swift knock on his door and a moment later, Reina walked into his office. Levi was shocked, to say the least. Shocked because she had managed to clean herself so quickly and shocked because, after all her had put her through, she would actively seek him out. He was instantly suspicious.

"Evans." He stated, and she took a step further into the room. Her hair was hanging over her shoulder and the ends were still wet, dripping every so often. He could see droplets of water on her shoulders and wondered if she had even tried to dry herself at all.

"I…" Reina paused, looking down at the cup of tea in her hands and suddenly wanting to throw it against the wall and run. She had made it out of instinct, her usual way of saying truce, but suddenly she had remembered that Levi drank coffee now. "I made you tea." She finally muttered.

Levi narrowed his eyes and stayed quiet, and Reina squirmed under his stare.

"Sorry, I'll leave." She blurted suddenly and turned to retreat, tea still clutched in hand. "I'll get you coffee." She added as she reached for the door, only to be halted by Levi's voice.

"Give me the damn tea, Evans." He sounded tired. Reina hesitated, but then turned back around and walked towards his desk. She placed the tea in front of him, by his half-written report, and then leant against the side of his desk absentmindedly.

"I'm sorry, I forgot you prefer coffee now." She muttered an apology, and Levi picked up his pen and continued writing his report. He was annoyed that she was apologising to him, because she knew as well as he did that she hadn't done anything wrong. Levi knew that this was her attempt at wiping the slate clean, starting afresh, but he wasn't happy. He didn't want Reina to try and fix things with him, he just wanted her to _disappear_. Levi was quickly understanding that his dream would not be realised.

"I never said I preferred coffee." Reina frowned, watching him as he wrote. She had always liked his handwriting and had even tried to imitate it, though hers never looked quite as nice.

"But this morning…" She trailed off, deciding it was a nuisance for her to ask him questions while he was trying to work. She was already in his bad books as it was.

Levi sighed, placed down his pen, and took a long sip from the tea. He drank it slowly, then carefully placed the cup down on his desk again.

"You ruined it." He said after a moment, and Reina titled her head at the words.

"Ruined what?" She asked, and Levi looked up at her. His eyes stayed on her for a moment before he looked back at the cup of tea, and then picked up his pen again.

"Tea. You ruined it." Reina jumped, ready to lunge for the cup and bring him another.

"Sorry, I'll make you another cup." She mumbled quickly, but his hand reached out and clutched her wrist as she made a grab for the tea. She paused and looked at him inquisitively.

"No, I mean _tea_ in general. You ruined tea." She stayed perfectly still because his hand was warm on her skin and, although she would not admit it, she had been longing for his touch. She wondered what he would say if she asked him to never let go.

"I don't understand." Reina told him quietly. She hated telling him that, because he would always smile a little, like she was being funny when really she was just stupid. Levi didn't smile.

"You used to make it for me, and I enjoyed drinking your tea. Tea didn't taste the same when you left." Levi muttered after a moment, eyes still focused intently on the page in front of him though he wasn't writing anymore. He was just staring at the page.

Reina didn't say anything because she didn't think anything she could say would be good enough, so instead she just kept quiet and tried her best not to move, although her arms were killing her and she was so tired she could have collapsed right there.

Levi saw a drop of water land on the page he was looking at and he watched it sink into the paper for a moment before he looked up at her condemningly.

"I'm so sorry, Levi. That was completely my fault, I'll go and-,"

"You can't even dry yourself properly." Levi muttered, interrupting her. Reina lowered her head in shame, but was careful to flick her wet hair back over her shoulder and away from Levi's desk before doing so. "Wait here." He told her, and then let go of her wrist and stood up from his desk.

Reina watched in curiosity as he walked around his desk and opened a door to the side of his office. Reina knew that it led to his adjoining room. She drummed her fingers on the wood of his desk absentmindedly while she waited and a moment later, Levi reappeared with a towel.

He walked back to her, stopping in front of her and looking at her for a moment before he patted down her shoulders with the fluffy material. Reina stood quietly as he dried her, head lowered and cheeks burning.

"You're getting careless." Levi muttered after a moment, before telling her to turn around. She did so, and then felt him drying her hair.

"What do you mean?" She asked quietly, enjoying the feeling of his fingers in her scalp.

"I'm your commanding officer. You can't address me informally." Levi told her and Reina realised her earlier mistake.

She hadn't even noticed, because she had called him by his name longer than she had referred to him as 'Captain'. She was surprised she had let it slip, because she had been so on edge around him that she hadn't dared so much as to step a toe out of line. She thought that maybe being back in his office had brought back too many memories and for a moment, she had forgotten herself.

Levi took a step away from her and Reina turned back around, running her fingers through her hair, which was now considerably drier. She stood awkwardly for a moment before deciding she needed to leave, because every moment in this office was suddenly making it harder for her to breath.

"Thank you, Captain Levi." Reina muttered, glancing up at him to see that he was already moving to sit back down behind his desk.

"Dismissed, Evans." Levi told her bluntly, and Reina hesitated for a moment before she walked out of his office without another word, closing the door firmly behind her.

* * *

><p><strong>an**

You guys are unreal, seriously! I can't believe I've had so much feedback on this story after only two chapters, it's really amazing! I wasn't very keen on this story when I started but all the support and positive feedback has made me eager to keep writing!

I would like your opinions on the time jumps - whether or not you like going back and forth in their timeline or if it's too confusing? I enjoy writing it this way because I feel it's a really effective way of character development, but if you guys don't like it I'll try something different! Let me know!

And thank you so so much to everyone who has left me a review, I feel terrible that I can't reply to them but I have taken everything you've all said into consideration and you've really motivated me to keep writing. Thanks again, and I'll be back soon with another chapter!


	4. Impulse

Year 840

Everybody was a little on edge as they mounted their horses and watched as the gates of Wall Maria were slowly opened. Commander Erwin gave the command and the Survey Corps headed out into open land, where titans were free to roam. Reina was not as nervous as her fellow soldiers and, if anything, she enjoyed this environment more than anything. She had a clear and distinct purpose, and every titan that she killed was helping humanity. _She _was helping humanity.

They weren't riding very far, only to a small town some distance away. Their mission was to establish it as a new supply station, but first they had to clear away the titan-infestation. When they were close enough, Reina engaged her 3D Manoeuvre Gear and sprang to the rooftops, ready to begin hunting titans. She saw a group of three not too far away and headed in their direction, shooting a wire into the back of one titan's neck and quickly slicing it's critical point.

She moved quickly, bounding from one titan to the next, never staying in one spot for longer than a second. Hesitance would kill you, Reina had learnt. She had seen too many of her fellow soldiers die from hesitance or from fear, and to overcome this Reina had learnt to block out her emotions, so to speak. She had decided that in moments of fear, it was easy to instead focus on her captain's command, leaving no room for fear to fester. _Clear the area. Secure a perimeter. _

Reina heard a scream from her left and her head snapped in that direction, seeing a young woman trapped in the mouth of a titan. Without a moment to think Reina was flying towards her, blades ready. She could see two other titans blocking her path and knew that if she were to try and glide past them, one would most likely catch her. But Reina was unwilling to sacrifice her comrades, so she continued along her path determinedly. She was halted by a booming voice.

"Evans! Retreat." Her head darted around to see Captain Levi behind her, face void of expression despite his quick movements. Reina frowned at him, thinking about their conversation the night she had joined his squad, but began to turn away from him. "That's an order, Evans." Levi spoke again, and Reina turned back around to see the woman disappearing into the titan's mouth.

She looked on, horrified, and the woman looked right back at her. She was reaching out her hand, looking for something, _anything _to help her, but there was nothing there. Reina wasn't there to save her. The titan's mouth snapped shut and the woman's hand fell to the ground below, landing with a cold thud.

Reina landed on a rooftop clumsily, stumbling over her own feet and collapsing in a heap. She heard a heavy thud beside her as Levi landed on his feet, looking down at her. She looked back up at him with wide eyes, because she had never failed at saving a fellow soldier before and this time, she hadn't even _tried_. What was the point of her if she couldn't save lives?

"She died. That woman died because of me." Reina mumbled, not necessarily speaking to Levi. He heard her though, and looked at her with disdain.

"She was done for the moment the titan grabbed her. Don't be so vain." Levi told her harshly, and Reina paled. She had never heard someone speak so cruelly.

"Levi." A voice shouted from below, and Levi peered over the edge of the rooftop to see Erwin looking up at him. "We're setting up base here for the night, it's getting too late to head back." Levi frowned.

"Tch." He hated staying at the places they reclaimed, because they were always old and withered and full of dust. Levi glanced back at Reina for a moment, still collapsed against the rooftop, before he left to find a half decent house to sleep in. He understood her anguish because he experienced it with the loss of every one of his men, but there was nothing he could do to change the past and dwelling on these things only lead to insanity. It was best to move on immediately.

Reina hated this part. She didn't particularly have a problem with sleeping outside the walls – she found it exhilarating, but she hated _finding_ a place to sleep. Every house she ventured into showed remnants of a previous time, a happier time. She would find a smashed family portrait and know that two kids were raised lovingly, or she would find tattered love letters and know that two people had been crazy for each other. Sometimes, she would collect things from the houses she visited. It was a good reminder of _what_ she was fighting for.

She didn't much feel like being around people this time, so Reina headed towards the outer part of the town. The bigger houses were always located out here, with elaborate gates and unnecessary decorations. Overgrown shrubs that would once have been magnificent art littered the pavements. Reina tried to ignore the splashes of blood stained into the ground. She picked a house at random and wandered inside, looking for a bedroom on the first floor.

It was always dangerous to use the staircases in these houses, unless they were made of stone or some other hard surface. It would be a terrible shame if Reina were to die from being impaled by a piece of wood trying to climb a staircase. The third door she opened led to a bedroom, and Reina carefully walked inside.

She walked to the old dresser at the back of the room and opened the top drawer, a practiced art of looking for old memories. It was empty. She opened the second, then the third, but these too were completely bare. Reina looked around but found nothing else in the room besides the large bed in the middle, and decided that nothing important had happened in this room. This was probably just a guest room after all, Reina supposed.

She climbed onto the large bed, not bothering to pull back the covers, and lay her head against the dusty pillow. It was slowly becoming dark outside and Reina knew it was in her best intentions to sleep, but she did not want to. She was angry, furious about the woman she had let die, and she wanted to scream. So she did.

She turned over, face down on the pillow, and screamed. She screamed until her throat hurt and her lungs ached and then she screamed some more.

The reason she had joined the Survey Corps was to save lives. Not necessarily the lives of civilians, but the lives of her fellow soldiers. Too many soldiers had been lost to the titan's and Reina couldn't stand it, knew somebody had to try to make a change and figured she was a good a person as any. And despite her cold exterior, it was undeniably easy to press Reina's buttons at the mention of saving lives.

She was furious with herself for letting that woman be eaten, because she knew that someone back inside the Walls was waiting for that woman to return, and she never would. Although the majority of Reina, the sensible part of her, knew that Levi was right in saying that nothing Reina could have done would have saved her, Reina's unreasonable side was telling her that she should have tried to anyway. She supposed that was just her being selfish, wanting some reassurance, and realising her selfish intentions just made her even angrier.

After a while she stopped screaming and lifted herself up, but paused when she felt something against her hand underneath the pillow. She quickly lifted it and found a wrinkled sheet of paper hiding. It was a poem.

_I'm looking at you and all I can see_

_is every reason to why I love you._

_Your skin is a map of what you've _

_been through and even though you can't_

_see it on the surface, I can see everything _

_that you will someday be. _

_And what you are going to become_

_is someone great, someone who _

_others will strive to be._

_I know that you are afraid of ceasing_

_without leaving any sort of impression,_

_but I swear to you that you will be_

_remembered._

Reina read it slowly and carefully and when she was finished, she pulled the crumpled paper to her chest and hugged it tightly. It was the distraction she had needed, and she welcomed it gladly. She wanted to know more about the person who wrote this poem. She wondered if it was a teenage girl writing a poem to her boyfriend, or an aging woman writing the thoughts inside her head. Her mind was spinning, packed too tightly with so many thoughts, and everything seemed rather overwhelming to her. Before she knew it, Reina felt something warm on her cheek. She lifted her hand and felt the wetness of tears running down her face, and she looked at the droplets on her fingers in astonishment.

"You're a mess." She jumped at the sound of a voice, and she turned to see Levi standing in the doorway of the room. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest from the shock and she scanned him quickly, noticing a bottle of wine in his hand. He saw her staring at it, and let out a sigh. "You're wondering where I found this." Reina nodded, genuinely curious, because wine was very hard to come by and generally costed a fortune.

"These rich houses always have a cellar. The problem is finding a half decent bottle." Levi told her after a moment, looking at the bottle in criticism before he raised it to his lips and took a swig.

"How long have you been here?" Reina asked quietly, and Levi looked at her.

"I came straight after I left you, so it would be safe to assume I was here before you were." He told her, and Reina nodded slowly.

"How long have you been… standing there?" She asked, hoping desperately that he had not witnessed her entire breakdown.

"I heard you screaming and came looking. Long enough, I suppose you could say." Reina grimaced. She crumpled the paper in her hand as she clutched to it tighter and quickly stood to her feet, saluting momentarily before she began to make her retreat.

"Sit back down, Evans." Levi sighed before she could pass him, and Reina paused. She looked at him questioningly but he did not elaborate, just grabbed the paper from her hands and pushed the bottle of wine towards her. Reina stayed frozen for another moment and Levi sighed again, this time in frustration and annoyance. "You know how to drink, don't you?" He asked her brusquely and Reina's eyes widened for a moment before she lowered her head and sat back on the bed again.

She looked up at Levi as he un-scrunched the paper and began to read it, and she hesitantly took a sip of the liquor in her hand. "Is this okay?" She asked as she lowered the bottle, and Levi looked at her over the paper.

"What?" He asked in his usual deadpan.

"To be drinking… We're still on a mission." Levi lowered his eyes again.

"It's fine." He said, but Reina was still unconvinced. What if a herd of titans approached them during the night and they were forced to fight while intoxicated? They would be killed, for sure. But then, she knew that Captain Levi was far from irresponsible and if he said it was fine, then it most likely was. Still, she couldn't help but wonder _why_ he was even sharing his liquor with her in the first place.

For the month that she had been on his squad, Levi had worked her into the ground day after day. She was pushed to her limits and then pushed past them, and she had no choice but to keep on fighting. He worked her harder than the rest of his squad, she knew. She assumed it was because she was new and he wanted her to understand the importance of the Special Operations Squad, but sometimes he would look at her and hatred would flash through his eyes.

"Drink, Evans. It's an order." Levi spoke again, and Reina hesitated only for another second before she raised the bottle again, this time taking a long drink of the liquor. It burned her throat as it slid down but she welcomed the feeling. It had been far too long since she'd had a drink.

Levi lowered the paper and walked towards her on the bed, sitting beside her and taking the bottle from her. He kept the poem held in one of his hands and Reina looked at it nervously, hoping he wasn't planning on destroying it somehow. That was the best thing she had found so far while exploring old houses, and she _really_ wanted to keep it. After a moment, her resolve broke.

"Captain Levi?" She questioned hesitantly, and his eyes darted towards her questioningly. "Could I have that back?" He looked at the paper in his hands and after a pause, he handed it to her. Reina sighed in relief and quickly leant down to tuck it into her backpack, safe.

"Why would you want to keep that?" Levi muttered, and Reina shrugged half-heartedly.

"It reminds me what I'm fighting for." She told him quietly, and Levi studied her for a long second before taking another swig of the wine.

"Humans were so selfish, before all this. So shallow, too concerned with how they were perceived and their 'impact' on the world." Levi scoffed. "Pathetic." Reina played with her fingers in her lap, her body stiff.

"Well, they left an impression on me, so I hope that's enough for them. Whoever they were." Levi glanced at her again from the corner of his eye, and his eyebrows furrowed together. She had been bothering him from the moment she was put in his squad, and he couldn't figure out why.

It was something about the way she spoke, and the way she asserted herself. Levi wasn't sure what it was exactly, but he certainly didn't like it. He had been trying to work _whatever it was_ out of her for the month she had been training under him, but it never faded. If anything, it had just grown brighter and with it, grew Levi's annoyance with the woman.

But now he was just tired, and he didn't care about that thing that annoyed him because more than anything he just needed a drink. Company was irrelevant to Levi, but he wasn't about to kick her out and force her to find somewhere else to stay when it was completely dark outside. It was too dangerous in foreign territory late at night, so they would just have to make do.

"I know you said it's trivial, but I think you'll leave an impression on the world, Captain Levi." He turned his whole head toward her at this, eyes narrowing. "You already have," she continued.

Levi realised what it was about her that bothered him so much. It was everything. It was _her._ He didn't like the heavy feeling she left in his stomach or the lightness in his head. He didn't like the way she made him feel, didn't understand it.

He pushed the bottle toward her and she took it after a moment, raising it to her lips and taking another long drink. Levi stared straight ahead at the wall, eyebrows furrowed in frustration, as he tried to think through the situation. He had an inkling about what it was he was feeling but he didn't acknowledge it, refused to. He couldn't think about someone in such a sense, especially not a soldier on his squad.

He thought maybe all he needed was to fuck her, get it out of his system and get on with it, but he decided against it. He didn't want the negative repercussions to come back and bite him in the ass if it didn't get it out of his system, and thought it wasn't worth the risk. This just made him more frustrated, more annoyed with her.

He grabbed the bottle off her once again and downed a considerable amount of the liquor and when he stood up from the bed, Reina's arms immediately sprung out to help him. Levi shook her off because it took a lot more than _that_ to get him drunk, and he certainly didn't need _her_ help.

"Where are you going, Captain Levi?" Reina asked hurriedly, ready to chase him.

"I'm going to find another bed. Go to sleep, Evans." Levi told her curtly, but Reina continued following him. She was a little dizzy and had to keep her hands against the wall, but she supposed that was what she got for being such a lightweight.

"Sir, there are no other bedrooms downstairs. Please, just sleep in this bed." She asked him as he headed for the staircase, but Levi ignored her.

"I told you to go to sleep, didn't I?" He turned back toward her and she ran into his chest, surprised at the sudden stop. Reina quickly corrected herself and stood back from him, and Levi glared at her.

"Please, Captain Levi. I don't want you to get injured." She told him carefully. He continued glaring at her and Reina fidgeted in her place, uncomfortable under his hard look. When he neither made any sign of arguing nor turned to continue up the stairs, Reina carried on speaking in the hopes that she was convincing him. "Please just sleep-,"

It took Reina's foggy mind a moment to process what was happening and by the time that she had, it was over. But her lips were tingling and her cheeks were burning and there was no way she could deny that Levi had kissed her. She raised a hand to her lips and felt them, as if looking for evidence that his had been there.

"Tch." Levi realised he had acted impulsively and that wasn't something he did very often. In fact, he only seemed to do it around _her_, and this annoyed him even more. "Like I said, go to bed, Evans. It's an order." He muttered, before he turned back around and headed upstairs. This time, Reina did not follow him or try to protest, because she was still frozen in her spot – a bewildered expression on her face and her fingers tracing over the surface of her lips.

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><p><strong>an **

**Sorry it's been a little longer than usual from my last update! Unfortunately, I have to start school again this week and therefore my updates will be a lot less regular (being the last term of grade 12 and all, it's sort of important) sorry guys :( **

**Credit for the poem to .com - Check out her writing, she's incredible! **

**What did you guys think of this chapter? I feel like it's not as good as it could have been for some reason.. not believable, maybe? or too rushed...**

**Let me know anyway, and ease my concern! Thank you soooo much to all of my reviewers, I would kiss you all if I could! Please continue to show your support for this story! xx**


	5. Her Vice

It had been a full week since Reina was placed back under Levi's command and every day, Levi pushed her further than ever. Each night her body ached and she revelled in every surge of pain that shot through her body. She wondered if Levi knew how much she was enjoying his 'punishment', but figured that he almost certainly did. He was not a dense man.

Reina was stood in her small room, securing her hair back into her two trademark braids for the day and secretly admiring the bruises that were beginning to litter her skin. They were not Levi's intention, of course, but simply a side effect of the harsh training he was providing her. Reina cherished each and every one of them.

She finished securing her hair and left immediately for the training grounds, having decided to skip breakfast (again) with the rest of her comrades. Her team, Reina had learnt quickly, did not like her. Reina was entirely fine with this and if anything, she preferred it this way than to have to fake pleasant conversations with people whom she did not have interest in. They would stay away from her, and she would stay away from them – simple.

She found Squad Levi warming up on the training ground and she jogged over to them, saluting Levi momentarily before she joined her squad in running warm-up laps. Levi clenched his jaw at her ease because he had hoped that she would have limped out to meet them this morning, the pain he had inflicted on her becoming too much, forcing her to finally show some sort of weakness. Once again, Reina had defied him.

Levi called his squad back over and began having them complete various warm-up activities. Soon enough, he told them to practice their hand-to-hand combat in partners. He placed Reina with Eren, knowing full well that Eren held the most resentment for the brunette. Levi was curious if Eren was the type of person to hit a girl, and was more than open to finding out.

Eren went first, with Reina securing the pads on her forearms to block Eren's punches. He seemed overall disinterested in training and was hardly paying attention to what he was doing. This bothered Reina because, no matter how trivial it may seem, this training might someday be imperative to their survival. The fact of Eren not paying attention simply meant another heavy body that Reina would have to save.

When Levi realised Eren would not try anything underhanded, he instructed the pairs to swap and hoped to finish with this pointless exercise as quickly as possible.

With the pads secured on Eren, Reina raised her hands into fists against her chest and extended her leg forward, aiming her foot against one of the pads. The momentum seemed to shock Eren and he looked back at her fully, eyes wide. He seemed to be surprised that she was putting in so much effort. Reina didn't hesitate, thankful that he was finally paying attention, and continued delivering kick after kick.

Eren was reluctantly impressed with her strength and his hatred for the girl was quickly diminishing, having witnessed the harsh treatment she had received from Levi each day. Although he may have been initially jealous of her 'special treatment', he now found nothing envious about it. If anything, he felt sorry for the poor girl. However he quickly lost interest in her kicking routine and his focus once again began to wander.

He heard Mikasa let out a grunt and turned slightly to see what had happened and at the same time, Reina's foot moved to connect to the pad on Eren's forearm. His change in position caused her foot to bend at an awkward angle and, given the momentum she had exerted into the kick, she felt a harsh jolt of pain shoot up her leg.

Reina let out a cry and fell to the ground and Eren shot back around, eyes wide in horror. Reina clutched to her ankle in pain as Eren crouched besides her, asking her what was wrong in a panicked mumble. Levi noticed her sudden displeasure and, after a moment of shock, he composed himself and walked towards her. He surveyed her for a moment before he knelt beside her and pushed her hands out of the way. Reina looked at him in pain as Levi touched her quickly swelling ankle and she cried out again, confirming his suspicions.

"It's broken." He told her after a moment, and Reina's eyes widened. A broken ankle meant she would be unable to train for at least 6 weeks, and that was unacceptable to her. This also rendered her completely useless if they were to go out on a mission, to the point where she would be unable to even ride a horse. This was certainly not good.

"No, no it's fine. I just overreacted – I can stand." Reina insisted, pushing against Eren slightly as she pulled herself to her feet. After a moment of hesitation she lowered her weight onto her swollen ankle and cried out in pain again, collapsing back to the ground. Both Levi and Eren caught her simultaneously and the two briefly exchanged a hostile glance.

"I told you it was broken, Evans. Stop being stubborn, you'll only make it worse." Levi barked at her and Reina grimaced, both from Levi's words and the pain in her ankle.

"You should go to the medical station, just to be sure." Eren stated and Levi narrowed his eyes at the words, because _surely_ Eren wasn't implying that his Captain's judgement was wrong. Reina opened her mouth to argue but was swiftly cut off.

"It's a broken ankle, nothing more can be done about it." Levi spoke harshly and Eren frowned, but knew better than to argue with the man.

"I'll take Reina back to her room, Sir. After all, I'm responsible for this." Eren began to pull Reina away from Levi but before he could, Levi dug his fingertips into Reina's waist and she accidentally let out a gasp. Eren perceived it as a gasp of pain and Reina wasn't sure whether she was relieved or concerned by his misunderstanding.

"You're dismissed, Jaeger." Levi stated bluntly and after a long moment, Eren hesitantly released his grip on Reina. He walked back to re-join the rest of his squad, not noticing the fire burning in Mikasa's eyes at his sudden display of concern for the new recruit.

Levi didn't waste a moment and began leading Reina back into the castle, however it was a slow and painful process given her new handicap. Reina couldn't think straight, between the pain in her ankle and Levi's fingers on her skin. And although Levi would never admit it, he was revelling in the feeling of her skin, thought he had started to forget what she felt like, decided it would be a lot better without her uniform in the way. He rejected the train of thought immediately.

"I didn't realise you had built any relationships among my squad." Levi mused eventually, though his voice was filled with deadly venom. Reina hesitated, wondered if she should push him further into this territorial act, but ultimately decided against it.

"I haven't." They walked in silence for a long while before Reina added, out of seemingly nowhere, "I haven't even introduced myself to them."

This didn't surprise Levi, because he knew that Reina had never been open to the concept of making friends and, on the rare occasions that she had accepted people into her life, the consequences had been dire. Levi had learnt the same lesson.

After what seemed like a lifetime, they finally made it back to Reina's room. Levi opened her door with his free hand and then helped her inside, over to the bed. She lowered herself onto the stiff mattress and looked up at Levi in curiosity, trying to think of something to say, _anything_ that would mean he had to stay just a little longer. Her mind was blank.

"Remember to ice your ankle." Levi stated, before turning away and briskly walking out of her room. Reina collapsed back down onto her back and let out a sigh of frustration. She had been trying to find a way to communicate with Levi, to talk over their problems and start afresh, but so far she had failed miserably. In fact, if Reina didn't know better she would say that Levi was intentionally avoiding her attempts at conversation. The whole thing frustrated her to no end, and she sighed heavily into her pillow.

* * *

><p>Reina was quickly realising that without the distraction of pain, being back in the Survey Corps elicited a lot of painful memories. She hadn't had time to really stop and think about everything because each night, Levi pushed her so hard that she would simply collapse into bed and pass out. But now, without that harsh routine she had become accustomed to, Reina had no other option but to <em>think<em>. And her thoughts were a lot darker than she would care to admit.

A knock on her door was a welcome distraction, and after taking a moment to compose herself, she invited the person inside.

The door cracked open and Eren peeked inside, hesitating another moment before he opened her door completely and entered her room. When he did, he looked around and found it to be bare of any personality. It was just the standard room that each person was given upon arrival. He couldn't even see any family pictures anywhere.

"Did you need something?" Reina asked, and Eren's head snapped back around to look at her. He cleared his throat and smiled sheepishly.

"I realised that we've never actually introduced ourselves. I'm Eren." He told her with a smile, outstretching his hand for her to shake. Reina looked at him with narrowed eyes and after a moment, Eren lowered his hand in embarrassment.

"There's no need for introductions. I'm aware of who you are." Reina told him bluntly, because she had no desire to establish any kind of relationship with these people. Eren pushed on.

"Well, I came to apologise for your ankle. It was my fault." Reina shook her head.

"It was my own carelessness that caused this. An apology is unnecessary."

"Still, I should have been paying more attention. Sorry." Eren gave an awkward huff of a laugh and scratched the back of his head with one hand. Reina noticed the veins in the muscles of his arm and her eyes clouded over. She remembered when she had first left the Survey Corps and had partaken in a variety of things as means of distractions. One of those, being sex. She didn't have the distraction of pain any longer, so perhaps she would have to resort to other measures of distraction.

Eren turned to leave, feeling defeated and embarrassed, when her voice called out and stopped him.

"Eren." He turned back to look at her and was somewhat startled at her sudden change in attitude. She seemed… different, somehow. "Sit down." She told him gently, her hand patting the spot on the bed beside her. He eyed it for a moment before he crossed the small room and sat beside her, his hands in fists on his thighs and his eyes focused straight in front of him. He suddenly felt nervous.

"Do you have a girlfriend, Eren?" Reina asked with a smile and Eren shivered, shocked by the tone her voice was suddenly taking. It was obvious that she had done this before, though the thought didn't cross his mind until later. Eren shook his head slowly in answer to her question. "Good." Reina told him, and Eren turned to question her.

The moment his face was turned towards hers she leant towards him, her lips connecting with his with a force that had him falling back against the bed. A part of him felt that this was wrong, that it was sudden and rushed, but a bigger part of him hadn't had sex in a long time. He shoved the more logical side of him away and instead pushed back against her, parting her lips with his tongue and pushing his way inside her mouth.

Reina moaned at his act of control and Eren took it as encouragement, letting his hands come to rest on her hips and pushing back up off the bed. He pushed her down until her back was on the bed and she arched her back into him, raking her fingers through his hair. Eren was quickly getting worked up and began pushing her up the bed, turning her around so her head was resting against the pillow.

Reina let out a sudden shriek of pain and Eren stopped, disconnecting their mouths and looking at her in confusion. Then, realisation dawned on his face and he looked down at her ankle. His eyebrows furrowed.

"What, Levi didn't even bandage it for you?" He questioned in disbelief, and Reina shook her head slowly, still catching her breath. Eren sighed.

"Honestly, after the fuss he made to take you back to your room, and he couldn't even bandage it for you…" Eren leant back away from Reina, kneeling on her bed. "Some Captain he is." Eren paused and, when he received no response, he continued, "Let me bandage it for you, alright?" Still, Reina didn't answer him and after a moment of confusion, Eren looked back at her. She was sitting up now, staring at her hands in her lap. "Reina? Are you oka-,"

"Get out." Reina told him lowly, and Eren froze. He studied her for a moment and found her to be void of all emotion once again, her eyes giving nothing away.

"What? It'll only take a moment to bandage it for you." Eren said slowly, not understanding. Reina's eyes shot from her hands to Eren, and she looked at him full of malice.

"Get. Out." She enunciated each word and Eren blinked slowly, a frown on his face.

"What did I do wrong? I don't understand." He argued, but Reina didn't reply. She just stayed staring at him, her eyes cold and unforgiving. After a long pause Eren crawled off of her bed and walked slowly towards the door, disbelief written all over his face.

He turned back around before he walked out the door and saw her gaze was unwavering. Shaking his head, he stormed out, muttering 'crazy bitch' just loud enough for Reina to hear. She didn't care. She felt disgusting. She felt absolutely terrible for what she had done, and she felt a strange hatred for Eren at hearing him regard Levi so negatively. She couldn't allow anyone to speak about Levi in such a manner – at least, not around her. She couldn't stand it.

Reina took a deep breath, composing herself the best she could, and then slowly pushed to her feet. She hopped out into the hallway and headed in the direction of the medical office, determined to bandage her god damned ankle because as much as she hated to admit it, it was hurting like hell and she needed some relief.

She was absolutely infuriated with herself for doing something so useless as to seduce a fellow squad member, and she knew the negative repercussions of her actions would be insufferable. Reina felt absolutely terrible and, if she didn't feel bad enough as it was, she found herself craving the attention of one person in particular. She wasn't sure if she was hoping for comfort or punishment but, if she was honest with herself, she didn't think she minded which she received.

As she hopped down the hallway, she felt guilty with herself because her motive was clear and she was not out in the hallway this late at night simply to bandage her ankle. She had only one thought on her mind, and her eyes darted around every few moments as she secretly hoped to run into the man who clouded her thoughts.

"Evans, what the _hell_ are you doing?" She almost smiled in glee when she heard his voice.

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><p><strong>an**

Oh my God no amount of apologising can make up for the wait on this chapter.. I am SO SORRY it took this long, but I have been absolutely drowning in school assignments and I had to write a story for english and didn't think I would be able to manage writing two very different stories at the same time! But I'm finally starting to finish some of my school work which means I've finally had time to sit down and write a half-decent chapter of this story!

Please tell me if you like it, if you think it's consistent with the flow of this story so far or if it's more poorly written - you're sincere feedback is greatly appreciated! Also, is there anything you want to see happen in this story? Between Reina and Levi? Or any of the characters for that matter? Let me know!

Thanks to everyone who stuck with this story, and I hope the wait was at least a little bit worth it! I'll try to update again soon, because I love writing this fanfiction as much as you (hopefully) love reading it!


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